{embrace} december

{winter by sandra dieckmann}

december's arrival zoomed past me last week.

everything transformed around me overnight.

the world launched energetically into its end of the year routine which caused my inner perfectionist to go bonkers.

its main message was:

you're not ready for this.

everyone else is ready for this.
you're not feeling this.
everyone else is feeling this.

this message was followed by a complex mix of emotions - frustration, excitement, overwhelm, joy, sorrow, rebellion, reflection, guilt, jubilation.

i got stuck in this particular thought vortex for several days.

then, two posts offered me helpful words:

{an intention for december via kyla roma}

{the gift of creating space via liz lamoreux}

thanks to the wonderful words of these women, i am now throwing my arms wide open to everything this last calendar page brings.

what a gift!

i want to pass this gift on to you.

i love to think of my inn as a space which transforms into exactly what you need when you walk through the door.

sweet guests, do you need to come to the inn for:

a mug of chai + a cozy warm blanket?

a festive soiree + a dirty martini + a swing record on the player?

a shoulder to cry on + a nap in a nook?

hearty soup + a crackling fireplace?

thumping club music + a sparkly dress?

warm sunshine + a book?

a magical workshop full of crafty tools + supplies?

a journal + some peaceful quiet in which to write or draw?

a drum to pound upon?

a pajama party + a giggle fest?

meditation + a massage?

a baking extravaganza?

a sacred temple + a top hat?

wine + fancy cheese + philosophy?

a place to stomp around + throw a tantrum?
a movie marathon?

a soothing lullaby?

the inn is your room of requirement...imagine it to be exactly what you need right now.

while you envision this, i am sending you:

the space to feel absolutely all of your feelings

at the end of this threesixtyfive.

the presence to savor the tiniest moments

as well as the grandest gestures

for the next few weeks.

the ability to fully exhale

the last breaths of twentyeleven.

the knowledge that all of the feelings you're feeling

are a natural part of the december experience.

and the message that

you are seen + known + loved

in your

head-to-toe

end-of-year

state-of-being

dearest friend.

{shops} coffee + antiques

recent innkeeper art dates:

the incredibly hip + delicious four barrel coffee in san francisco...

two mysterious + inspiring antique shops...

{words} attention

susan sontag has been on my mind

since i watched this documentary last week

about the life and work of annie liebovitz

{story} hearty

ten years ago, at a gathering in the mountains of montana, i sat by a flickering campfire with a group of new friends.

we had all set up camp in the same part of the woods and ended up becoming a neighborhood of kindred spirits who often ate dinner together.

after our meal one night, everyone spontaneously started exchanging little gifts. bars of chocolate, jewelry, postcards, tools, tea, candles, and other heartfelt offerings were pulled out of backpacks and shared freely.

i was sitting next to an older gentleman who we affectionately called "hearty." he was a wandering fisherman from alaska who was the human embodiment of pure love.

as the exchange gained momentum, i leaned over to hearty and said:

i'll be right back - my gifts are in my tent.

quickly i dashed through the woods to get the vintage cigar tin i had carried with me from home.

it contained "wood fairies," creations i had made which were delicate painted sticks adorned with shimmery stones and feathers for wings.

the box full of fairies was easy to find in my stash of stuff, but as i walked back to the fire my confidence diminished.

i thought:

everyone else has shared things

that are practical, edible, useful.

my creations aren't any of those things.

by the time i sat down next to hearty again, my resolve to share the fairies was wavering. i shyly opened the rusty box, handed him one, and said:

it's...it's a...i call it a wood fairy.

i made it from sticks and feathers and stones.

he examined it in the firelight for a moment. during his brief silence, my insecurity caused me to blurt out a disclaimer:

it...doesn't really have a purpose. it's just...pretty.

he looked up to see my befuddled expression, put his hand firmly on my shoulder, and said:

oh my.

oh, my dear friend.

PRETTY has a PURPOSE.

he said it with conviction, strength, and truth. he said it with complete clarity. he held my gaze and did not look away.

and then we both smiled.

and my world shifted.

because until that moment in the woods, i had lived in a very pragmatic world.

i came from a place that considered ART and everything related to ART to be LOVELY but NONESSENTIAL.

this idea had been painful for me for a quarter of a century because i was born an ARTIST.

i loved ART. i loved to look at ART. i loved to make ART.

however, i had always been given the message that this LOVE was fun but frivolous. over the years i had grown to believe that ART was not practical, edible, or useful.

hearty looked me deeply in the eye and told me in no uncertain terms that what i loved to do was meaningful.

that making ART has a PURPOSE.

everything cracked wide open for me by the campfire that night.

thank you, hearty.

**********

{photography: lance fuller}

{music: "no poetry" by gary jules}

{creativity} coffee + alchemy

"cafeona" is the spanish word for the smell of roasting coffee beans...

every monday my clothes exude this aroma.

at the beginning of each week, i spend two hours in a coffee shop with my best friend benjamin.

we meet to work on "the alchemy project" which is an artist collective that we invented...

"the alchemy project" grew out of our work on julia cameron's vein of gold. we met weekly for over a year to complete the process and decided that it was important to keep this creative routine alive.

traditional alchemy was the idea that base metals could be transmuted into gold. our modern version of alchemy is the idea that we work magic with the stuff of our everyday lives, transforming it into art...

at each meeting, we discuss what is happening for us artistically and set specific creative intentions for the week ahead. the inn was imagined and brought to life through this process and continues to evolve because of it.

our monday meetings have been absolutely vital in my artistic life. my behavior and thinking have changed dramatically. plus, i get to drink a double macchiato with my best friend and soak in the "cafeona" at the start of each week...

dear guests, do you have a creative support partner or group? i would love to read about it...

{doors} field of bliss

{idea} limitless

seeing my artistic mentor julia cameron

on video for the first time last night

(she has existed only as an idea in my mind for over a decade)

and

reading a heartfelt message from a dear friend

who is in the midst of a life shift
seeking more energy and creativity

inspired me to share these words i wrote last year

during my journey through the vein of gold

which help me remember to live big...

{query} adventure

{design by zack davenport}

your innkeeper adores adventure.

one of the things i love about adventure: meeting a wondrous variety of mind-blowing and magical people. when traipsing all over the map, i consider myself wildly lucky to meet an array of amazing humans.

one such specimen is the fantastically effervescent annie passanisi of happiness advocates...

i was introduced to annie on twitter many moons ago (thank you fabeku!) and we instantly swooned over each other. as pixie dust spreaders, musical theatre gals, and burn broads, we are kindred spirits indeed.

when my burning man ticket search got tough last month, annie called me and scooped me up out of my funk. after a dismal morning of tears and frustration, she made me laugh riotously and convinced me that it would happen. we actually got to meet each other in person on the playa, and i can say with heartfelt gusto that i will adore her forever...



since we returned from the desert, annie has been assembling her own personal dream team of twelve women who will be collaborating on a beautiful project this fall.

i am ridiculously excited to announce that she invited me to be one of those twelve!

most of the juicy project details will be detailed later, but for now i will say that the result is going to be a whimsy-fest of epic proportions.

right now, i am working on my contribution to this project. i have a big batch of stardust simmering - lots of thinking, outlining, collecting inspiration, brainstorming, and researching going on here at the inn.

which brings me back to adventure, the concept that landed me here in the first place. my part in annie's whimsical creation is about adventure...

{image via shawna laurington}

thus, your innkeeper has a humble research request. if you have a moment to leave me a comment, i would love to ponder your response to the following question:

how do you define adventure in your life? what does the concept of adventure mean in your world?

{adventure} desert journey

this week has been wonderful madness.

school started on wednesday...a whole new year with thirty-three vivacious middle school kiddos ready to act their hearts out in my classroom.

i also spent every single day wildly scurrying around to pack my gear for a week in the desert.

in the morning, i launch for burning man...

in a few hours i begin my journey of desert beauty, incredible art, old and new friendships, dancing, exploration, dusty dust, meditation, fire fire fire, bike riding, parties, sunsets, mutant vehicles, yoga, and so very much more.

i am thoroughly excited to document the journey and share it with you when i return.

before i go, i must declare my profound gratitude to my tribe of friends. words are not in any way adequate to express all that my friends have done for me over the years, and especially in the last few weeks. i feel deeply thankful for the love of such amazing people.

i would also like to declare my adoration for you, dear guests! you inspire me to new heights. i am always thinking of you, constantly dreaming up ways to show you innkeeper creativity and love. thank you for all of your kind words and for being guests here at the inn.

with that, i bid you adieu for a week as i march forward into the desert sun. i shall see you in september with a head full of dust and a heart full of love.

xo

{vitality} wild ride

vitality.

i asked for it.

and i got it.

the last two weeks have been an absolutely wild ride.

innkeeper spontaneous combustion: an enormous explosion of energy, ideas, people, possibilities, adventures.

for example, my hair is now chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla...

and in a whirlwind of wishes and manifestation, i am suddenly going to burning man this year...

there are important stories i long to tell you about this process, tales of firewalking, woe, excitement, tears, and transformation.

right now, i must focus my energy on packing for the playa and preparing for school to start in two days...

my friends, this is a special time.

i am taking the inn to the next level.

i do hope you will join me...it is going to be amazing.

xo

{words} you are marvelous

p.s. i adore tom waits. he lives in my lovely little town. have you ever listened to nighthawks at the diner? it's one of my favorites. xo

{passion} vive le cinéma

this afternoon i went to a small local movie theater for a rendezvous with the cinema.

i had the entire theater to myself (!) and spent a delightful ninety minutes being whisked away to paris...

{midnight in paris}

it was a marvelous way to add some magical mojo to my percolating paris dream.

(did you know that your innkeeper has a lifelong dream of going to paris? c'est vrai.)

this flick was a perfect recipe of film for me: a soul-seeking artist on a magical fantasy adventure through the world of literature and art.

i smiled throughout the film and loaded up my phone with voice notes and typed lists of inspiration.

an artist date like this is one way that i am fanning the flames of vitality: nurturing a dream.

and i am dreaming of paris...

{art} an absolute mistress

i am currently engaged in a tantalizing tango with my muse.

she is a beautiful, beguiling, saucy, and sometimes elusive creature.

this dance we are doing is a new one for us.

we've been together for a long time. since the very beginning, actually. but we have had many different relationships, manifestations, and dances over the years.

our current partnership is simultaneously delightful and confusing.

right now, i'm bashful but excited, fumbling around, learning new steps, joyfully riding the waves, awkwardly feeling it out as we go.

there are many highs and lows within this process.

to sort out my oft confusing emotions, i seek solitude in my studio.

i light incense, meditate, crank up the music, write, and dance.

today, in addition to doing these things, i'm giving myself an artist date.

my muse and i will be laying on the floor with cushy pillows and listening to the following...

radiolab: me, myself, and muse

ted talk: mihaly csikszentmihalyi on flow

{words} noches estrelladas

a spectacular summer stargazing session last night inspired me to revisit an old poem i wrote many years ago...

{inspiration} the self express

yesterday, i visited my amazing cousin duncan...

duncan just graduated from college, embarked on world travels, and has now returned to take a powerful journey across the country via a solar-powered veggie oil bus...

{the self express}

he is part of a group of incredible young artists and thinkers who purchased and converted the bus in june. they describe themselves as:

* transportation to a sustainable future
* a grass-roots vehicle for creativity and change
* exploring solutions to the environmental and social problems we face

the self express came to my little town yesterday and spent the morning at the farmer's market sharing their gifts, making music, and connecting with the community here.

i was absolutely enthralled with the beauty and intention of this creation...

the joy, excitement, and pride i feel about this project could make me explode.

my gypsy soul sings, my artist heart rejoices, my earth mama mind spins wildly.

what a valuable vision to create. such wonderful work, my friends!

to connect with the self express:

website * facebook * vimeo * giveforward